I should be here.

Lately, I seem to have no control whatsover on my appetite: I stuff my face with food even when I’m not hungry. Suffice it to say that my binge eating sessions have reached such an all-time high that they caused me to gain about 10 pounds in approximately 3 months, and I now look like I have a personal, built-in salbabida (lifesaver) whenever I wear anything even slightly formfitting.

So I’ve decided that it’s got to stop. Not just for vanity’s sake, but for my health as well. And because I love going out of town and spending time on the beach (how very California girl of me, snicker, snicker) in a smoking hot bikini, that seemed like a pretty proper motivation. So Operation Shed 10 Pounds is now officially launched! Ba-ba-bing!

I already prepared The Fitness Plan (signed up for kickboxing, ah yeah!!!), I already have The Smoking Hot Bikini. The question is, where to? We’ve got to be honest, Boracay is one of the prettiest beaches in the country, so I’d say that’s my top choice. Plus, I’ve never been, so it’ll be really cool if my new, improved, 10-pound-less self can go there, preferably without spending anything… Plus it’ll totally help me stay on track of the Operation Shed 10 Pounds project. I mean really really help. So I like totally deserve to go–for free. Please please please, SEAIR?

If you guys don’t yet know, the reason why I’m so shamelessly promoting myself is because SEAIR’s (also Microtel Philippines) got this contest, and they will pick 8 bloggers (me! me!) to go to Boracay absolutely for free, which of course is totes generous and cool of them.

So click here if you folks also wanna take a stab at it

Every person has his/her quirks, his/her own set of faults. And I am not exempted from that: I am (sometimes viciously) vindictive, overly boisterous, and extremely stubborn. But the fault that has gotten me into trouble more times than I care to count is the fact that I speak my mind too often. I suppose not everyone considers that a flaw, but I suppose it is a fault in the sense that I, more often than not, fail to consider that not everyone is as prepared as I am to hear truths about themselves and the world around them. Or that not everyone has the capacity to understand that every person’s mind works differently–that not everyone is prepared to accept the way I view the world around me.

I may not know what real friendship is, but at least I know what it’s not: it’s not only being there when everything is shiny and full of rainbows. It’s not ditching at the first sign of trouble. It’s not conforming a person to your perception of what he/she should be. It’s not imposing double standards, and it’s definitely not spending your days as if you’re constantly on probation–like you make one wrong move and you’re done.

Just like any other relationship, friendship is a two-way street. I tolerate your quirks, you tolerate mine. The moment it becomes one-sided is the moment you should realize you’re kidding yourself.

PS: I changed the last sentence to something a little less painful. Perhaps I am not as viciously vindictive as I’d like myself to be.

The movie Lolita is one of the most thought-provoking films I’ve seen in a long time. In a society where “pedophiles” are, more often than not, thought of as monsters, it’s quite unnerving to find yourself at the other side–understanding, even sympathizing, with one. The movie was narrated in the voice of Humbert, a man who falls in love with his landlady’s (and later, wife’s) 12-year-old daughter.

The movie blurs the line of morality. Is it really wrong to fall in love with a child? And is someone as young as Lolita can be held responsible for her acts? The character’s ages tell us clearly who is to blame, and yet it is true that adults can be foolish, and that children can grow up faster than their years. In cases such as that, wherein the child manipulates the adult, and the adult loses his wits, who really is at fault?

Lolita (brilliantly played by Dominique Swain) has an attitude comparable to that of a toddler’s–curious, testing her limits, knowing her power, taking advantage. She knows she has Humbert wrapped around her finger, and she uses his fixation as a means to get what she wants: money, privileges, treats. And yet in the midst of it all she remains childish–she pulls faces, she moans, stamps her feet and screams her lungs out when she doesn’t get what she wants. One minute she’s laughing innocently at a newspaper cartoon, the next, making love with her stepfather. Such displays of innocence lead one to think that, like most adolescents, Lolita hardly knows what she’s doing, or the consequences of her actions–though she may claim otherwise.

The quote above is one of the ones I liked best from this movie. I’m thinking of painting them on a pair of shoes sometime soon, though I do think my mother will be horrified when she reads it, haha.

In a month or so, summer will be here and then it’s time for some fun under the sun! I have some really awesome summer trips lined up, but for now I must save save save. Lately I’ve been sleeping as late as 3am, exhausting, but it’ll all be worth it when we get there.

Thanks to everyone who liked this photo.

So. This is what, you know, quarter life and shit, really feels like. Everyone I know is headed somewhere–rasing kids, building families, settling into office careers, diving into business ventures, and whatnot–and I still feel like the kid who held a pen in her hand, scanning the courses our school offered, and not knowing what the heck to put down in the “First Choice” field of my college entrance exam form.

I turn 25 this year (ack!), and for me that means </frolicking>, if that indeed is what I’ve been doing since I graduated. I told myself I wanted a chance to enjoy first, to squander the money I make however I want, whenever I want. And when I reach 25, work and saving and life becomes serious bizniz.

I really don’t know where to start. I wish I can download some sort of e-book on How to Live Your Life Properly or some other crap like that, but we all know it doesn’t work that way. The only way to do this thing, and do it well, is to take leaps of faith–eyes closed, fingers crossed. Both feet, Humphrey.

2010 brings a lot of promise. I can soar or I can fall flat on my face, I can’t really tell for sure. I want to say and to believe that it’s all up to me. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it’s time to leave the safety of my nest and really learn to fly.

Did you know?

That Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters mt.

That there is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters? Therein : the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, here, ere, therein, herein.

That no words in the English language rhyme with orange, silver or purple?

That the only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

I sometimes wonder how much energy a person can produce in a day just by talking. Really, sometimes the fastest way to get things done is to STFU and just do it. Excessive complaining is, most of the time, a waste of words and energy.

Also, try not to talk to me when:

• My sleep has been interrupted, for whatever reason.
• I’m intent on finishing something.
• I’m tensed.
• I’m really, really tired.

..’coz I can be a real bitch during these times. Just noticin’.

*Language facts lifted here.